The Week That Was

Tried Plotting "Global Frustration Index" vs "Time"


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How to be a five point someone at IIT

DISCLAIMER: This blog is not even remotely related to the bald moron called chetan bhagat. If anyhow you got mislead by the topic of the post and got directed here then its not coincidence, its all deliberate. I just wanted to tell you that you are too a cry baby like him.

Dedication: To all those who were involved in real life testing of below mentioned experiments and devoted their careers for the purpose of this research.


Here are some tested and applied techniques for screwing your stay at IITs
1. daydream : think about if you were vijay mallya ,raj mundra or ness wadia
2. Install stumbleupon
3. Google even the silliest question that comes to your mind.
4. make a orkut page and refresh it every now and then.
5. check out who's your friend of the day , enemy of the day , when will you get married or when will you die and 20 such meaningless quizzes on facebook every day
6. Bookmark Times Of India as homepage and click it every seventh minute you spend on PC. fed up of this try "The Hindu" , they say that it has best editorials.
7. calculate your own age in days and figure out how its unique.
8. plan to waste your weekend in advance
9. Run to hostel canteen every now and then just to get a sip of "special chai".
10. read your own old blog posts every month
11.Get up everyday 5 minutes after class timings and say "Its better not go than late"
12.Curse your education system and authorities for making you a bore , at least 5 times a day.
13.Discuss policies of government over canteen tables or online forums or any other place where no body cares for it.
14.Do not attend lectures because the guy next to you told how crappy it is.
15.Excuse your unwillingness to work with hunger or sleep.
16. Prepare a "to-do list" and never look at it after that.
17. Search for latest updates on art works of stupidest actors on planet
18. Try coining the funniest word on earth and attempt speaking it with weirdest accent you can come-up with.
19. Try laying down idle on bed for hours when you have your quiz the next day.
20. Well this needs a mention twice. DREAM
21. Try writing a blogpost on the eve of midsems.

मैं आलिम नहीं , मै जमाल नहीं ,
मै ग़ालिब नहीं , मै इकबाल नहीं,
हाँ बेशक मै जवाब नहीं रखता,
लेकिन मालूम है कि मै सवाल नहीं |

मैं हराम नहीं, मैं हलाल नहीं,
मैं मुफलिस नहीं, साहिब-ए-माल नहीं,
यूं तो ख्वाब बोहत जी चूका हूँ मैं,
लेकिन इल्म है कि मैं ख्याल नहीं |

मै दरिया नहीं, मैं दीवार नहीं,
मैं कश्ती नहीं, मैं सवार नहीं,
हाँ मौजों में बहता रहा हूँ मैं,
मै अज़हर नहीं ,मै खुशहाल नहीं |



आलिम-learned , जमाल-beauty , मुफलिस-poor , साहिब-ए-माल-rich , दरिया - river , मौज-water waves

वो हवा जो ताज़ा नमी लिए बहती थी
आज वो मातम के आँसू बन गये
वो परिंदे जो मोहब्बत के नग्मे गाते थे
आज ज़माने के मजरूह बन गये
क्यूँ
क्यूंकी कुछ गुलशन थे
जो लाशों का बाज़ार बन गये
और फ़ूल जल के घूबार बन गये

वो आँसू जो बहे तो सही मगर
आँखें ना नम कर सकीं
वो चोटें जो लगी तो सही मगर
तड़पन ना कम कर सकीं
क्यूँ
क्यूंकी कुछ चेहरे थे
जो खो गये किसी बवंडर में
और घुल गये लहू के समंदर में